loneliness

when I hurt you and you leave – I feel lonely

when you hurt me and I leave – I feel lonely

when you die and I stay behind – I feel lonely

when I visit childhood friends expecting their third baby – I feel lonely

when I sit in a board room with suit wearing men demanding more results – I feel lonely

when I find a desert sunset and watch the evening star appear – I feel lonely

when the immigration officer questions my intentions – I feel lonely

when I don’t know the name of the store you are explaining me to go to – I feel lonely

when my accent makes you laugh and you ask about my clothes – I feel lonely

when I go to weddings and baby showers – I feel lonely

when I want to hold your hand when we pray and I can’t – I feel lonely

when I walk to my apartment through the throng of toddlers on the lawn – I feel lonely

when I struggle for the right translation for something and you look away – I feel lonely

when I order a milkshake and I miss my country and her people – I feel lonely

when I need this month’s hug but can’t find it anywhere – I feel lonely

when I want to explain myself and you won’t wait – I feel lonely

when you get sick and I can’t do anything about it – I feel lonely

when the whole class misunderstands my comment – I feel lonely

when I walk along the concrete road and think of dust and thorn trees – I feel lonely

when I need to explain why I want to drink a beer right now – I feel lonely

when I have to stir my tea with a straw instead of a teaspoon – I feel lonely

when everything I can order to eat burns my mouth - I feel lonely

when you ask me ‘how are you’ without wanting an answer – I feel lonely

when you walk too fast ahead of me – I feel lonely

when I don’t recognize the birds outside – I feel lonely

when I wish you were here to celebrate your birthday with me – I feel lonely

when I end up alone on the campus square at the end of the week - I feel lonely

when you ridicule my strange preferences – I feel lonely

when I fall asleep hugging myself – I feel lonely

when I feel too demanding and decide not to call or email you – I feel lonely

when I fall asleep praying – I feel like You must have felt